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What's in a Manual Anyway?

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When things come up with my kids, I always think back to when I was that age. I think about the things that I did and said and the difference between my mother's reaction and my fathers reaction and how it all made me feel. While the love was always there from my dad, he had a hard shell and didn't tolerate a lot. This might be partial to the fact that I was the only girl. Perhaps he wasn't too sure what the right words were sometimes when things got tough with a teenage girl but he was great at showing affection. Watching him and my mother together for 26 years, he ultimately paved a path for me and taught me how a man should treat a woman. My mother was graceful and always took my feelings into consideration before reacting or responding. I can't remember many times that she raised her voice at us kids but always seemed to have the right advise. I admit, a lot of times I did what I wanted to do but hearing my mom talk to me and thinking in retrospect of the things
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The Fatherless

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Before I married my second husband, I remember telling him that I never wanted to be with a man who wasn't an active role in his children's lives. I remember telling him that if he didn't pay his child support and was not actively involved with his children, then there would be no relationship. He assured me that he was. And so we began to date. As time went on and we were married, I saw that he always had his son on the weekends that he was supposed to. Sometimes it took a bit of planning because the boy lived hours away but his mother was always willing to meet us half way. He always paid his child support and talked to his son on the phone as much as he could given the circumstance. His older daughter lived about an hour away and although we tried hard to be active in her life, she always managed to push her father away because of her busy schedule and the fact that her mother always wanted to be involved any time that he wanted to spend time with his daughter. He co
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Haters

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Well lookie there! My first "I'm Back" post! Today, I want to write about my weight loss journey. I backspaced right there from 'battle' to 'struggle' and back to 'journey'. At first, it was a struggle. I started at 5'11" and weighed about 268 lbs. I struggled to keep up with the other people in my FIT classes. After all, I had never been in a gym in my life but I'm pretty determined. I couldn't do sprints or jumping jacks because I was afraid that people would judge me bouncing all over the place, plus, I couldn't breathe. I always thought to myself "who would be okay with seeing that and not smirk at least a little behind my back?" Almost all of the exercises that I did were modified and I very much limited myself, full knowing what I was capable of, solely for the purpose not having to expose my fellow classmates to the ugliness underneath my clothes. When you're used to hearing people call you fat for so
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I'm Back!

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It's been an amazing two years since I last wrote. My fingertips have been begging me to hit the keyboard! Well, they're on the keyboard all day at work but that's work stuff. I actually had to hide all my previous blogs because some were so dark and brought back so many memories and feelings that I have worked hard to surpass and overcome these last few years and I am doing great! My apologies to my avid followers but there truly came a time when I had to stop and sort of disconnect. Writing has always been a huge part of my life and I have missed it tremendously! These years have taken me on a weight loss journey and to Cozumel twice! There have been so many firsts for me and for the first time in my life, I finally love myself enough to accept the life I've been given and learn how to overcome negativity and adversity in my life with diversity and above all, happiness and love. Some days I still struggle with depression. It is real! Doctors have always told m
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